Egress and Ingress
Smudge knew he was not an accomplished thief, too much lurching
In his movements - the blackouts didn’t help much either - once he had woken
Up feeling quite scaly covered with an old oil cloth that felt like a thick membrane
Covering his face making him want to sift the debris as quickly as he could
In search of a few fallen coppers that might buy him some asparagus
As stolen stale bread just felt prickly in his stomach
Watching the butcher slaughter his wares only made him tremble
He didn’t think he ever be able to take a blade and skewer something to death
Who ever his mother was he imagined she had a gentle soul
Off to the back alley the old craftsman - that’s where he’d huddle under
The rickety steps and fall asleep to the rhythmic pounding of the man
Who pounded pewter - would he ever eat off of a plate...
A gentle hand woke Smudge, this was new - mostly he’d always been roughed up
Searched for whatever he’d been able to find that was of any value -
“Boy, you might want a warmer bed, aye?”
The older boys’ face seemed to glow like an angel with the moon playing with his features
“You’ve come at a most opportune time for me...As I’m wanting to leave”
Smudge was gently scooped up and carried still half sleeping
Placed on a bed of straw inside a very small room - “You’ll be fed here too”
The whispered voice continued... “Just be honest and do your best”
With that the older boy backed away ...backed far far away into another life
JulesPaige/davh (April 30, 2012)
Process notes: I went looking for the new word list at Rosemarymint - it wasn’t up yet, so I used last weeks’ which fit quite well to continue the story of ‘Lackluster Lackey’ - enjoy.
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/04/lackluster-lackey-sunday-whirl-wordle.html
So some of the words fit better than others... and using a word for a name is an easy out...
as the saying goes; ‘It's’ all good.’
1) tremble 2) prickly 3) lurch 4) asparagus 5) blackout 6) copper 7) scaly
8) smudge 9) skewer 10) sift 11) membrane 12) slaughter
http://rosemarymint.wordpress.com/2012/04/23/monday-melting-week-14/
Monday, April 30, 2012
5 comments:
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Jules, thanks for writing! So glad you have you join us. :)
ReplyDeleteThese are my favorite lines:
"the rhythmic pounding of the man
Who pounded pewter"
"backed far far away into another life"
Can't wait to see what you come up with for this week's prompt.
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
It's great to find the continuation of your lacklustre boy story. If you were to put the two together and lay them out as prose, they would make a very marketable piece of flash fiction.
ReplyDeleteDid you mean stollen, as in the yummy Dutch/German Christmas bread, or did you mean stolen? Also, do you need both small and little in the penultimate stanza? Those two points apart, a wonderful story.
My favorite lines are also those selected by anonymous. Your writing flows so beautifully. I wonder how long it takes you to write this. Do you struggle, go back, cross out, re-write, edit over and over.
ReplyDeleteNicely done Jules. Always a pleasure. happy day to you my friend.
good story. Reminded me of the classic matchstick girl story.
ReplyDeleteLove the continuing story, now seen from the point of view of Smudge - though we recognize the nameless "older boy".
ReplyDeleteRichard