Lackluster Lackey
His mother loved green emeralds, they reminded her of the sea
Though she only had but the one stone set in silver on a chain
Around her neck that seemed to bind her to her husband...
His father loved pewter, actually beating the metal from nuggets
Into usable plates, bowls and simple mugs - he was competent enough
To support his family, a craftsman without an artistic flair
They didn’t seem to require much, that pair - from what his eye
Could see, they loved to squander their earnings to accommodate him,
Their only adopted son - if used clothes, straw bed, and candy bits were enough
In the little shop on the lane, rooms above for living
With its’ back door leading to the rickety steps, down to the alley
Where at night the homeless often picked through their trash
Was he really all that selfish to not want that intractable life
He wanted to follow the migrating flocks...and be free of this time forgotten fife
Perhaps tomorrow he would find the courage to tell them he was leaving
On the next merchant ship to dock, they wouldn’t miss him would they?
If he could find them a replacement boy...like the one he’d spied stealing bread
Surely he’d want a warm bed and a chance to be molded
Into another replica of the working stiff, who rose at dawn
And fell into a dead man’s sleep after a hard day’s labor
After downing simple stew that seemed to drain hope of anything different...
JulesPaige/davh (4/29/2012)
Process notes: Perhaps this came from my own feelings about my current job? Waiting for that other door of opportunity to open wide and call my name :)
lane, alley, sea, eye, squander, accommodate, flocks, green, follow, pewter, beating, intractable Wordle #54 For the Sunday Whirl
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/wordle-54/
Though written a different word list this could be the second in this series
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/04/egress-and-ingress-for-monday-melting.html
Sunday, April 29, 2012
14 comments:
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interesting thoughts and good wordle. We often strive for that 'something more'...lately I find myself wishing for that mindless job I can leave behind at the end of the day, a simpler life that would bring sleep...
ReplyDeletePowerful and sad. I hope the door opens soon for you and for the son. Nice use of wordle words!
ReplyDeleteOh Jules, I love the possibilities for the "replacement boy," and hope the family finds him. What a marvelous piece, I got rapt in the story. :)
ReplyDeleteYou've told a vivid and moving story with your wordle, Jules. Well done!
ReplyDeleteJules, very unique poem, and story in one.
ReplyDeleteWow, jules. This is powerfully sad, and so visual. I especially enjoyed that amazing last line:
ReplyDelete"After downing simple stew that seemed to drain hope of anything different..."
I love making stories out of nothing more than a few odd words, and I relly do like yours.
ReplyDeleteA fine narrative you have woven here. I'm always so amazed at how the words take each of us in different directions.
ReplyDeleteoh, and I hope that door opens soon for you. = )
My dear Jules- Ever faithful and hard working. Your heart calls out from this piece... I hope a replacement boy can be found. I really think you have a knack for longer pieces. You weave words as well as stories. Sorry I am so late in coming by! xo teri
ReplyDeleteI can feel the aching discontent in the story - you have found a way of bringing out the emotions in a believable way. As De says, it is very visual.
ReplyDeleteThis was a good poem, Jules. It tells quite a story. So sad really that no one seemed really happy with their lot in life. I don't think the boy will find happiness elsewhere. He just thinks he will, as many who run somewhere else do.
ReplyDeleteJules, It appears I must agree with the gang. Quite expressive and gripping. A great use of the words.
ReplyDeleteI like "emerald" for the mother, and "pewter" for the father - that works so well. And how this story unfolds, the boy wanting to leave, and thinking about his adopted parents.
ReplyDeleteRichard
Thanks for pointing me to your poem about why he left. I agree with the above comment about the use of emerald and pewter. The line about being a craftsman without artistic flare creates a strong image. Annette at http://hoofprintsinmygarden.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/this-is-what-homeless-looks-like/
ReplyDeleteSorry you couldn't find me on the last comment. I keep forgetting that when I post a comment on blogger blogs, it sends people back to my journal instead of to my poetry. Oops!