Wednesday, February 20, 2013

WWP 143 & WG'Broken': Tomboy Trial

WWP The First Kiss
http://wewritepoems.wordpress.com/2013/02/20/prompt-143-its-post-your-poems-day/

Tomboy Trial
I wasn’t ready
that’s what I remember
kind of a role reversal
he even carved our initials
in a heart in a tree - poor tree.

I wasn’t ready
for what he said
declaring I was to be the first
in this forest under that tree
the carved heart - poor heart.

I wasn’t ready
didn’t quite trust that I was the first
I knew I wouldn’t be the last
perhaps he collected carved hearts?
Or just girls hearts...poor girls.

I wasn’t ready
So I said no - later, years later I found out
That mystery boy/man married and divorced
While I moved on, ready for solidarity -
thought I’d easily forget - poor him.

I wasn’t ready
for the haunting...the not ever knowing
what could have been...in forested house
at the end of a dirt road - by the cold lake
I just know I don’t ever have to say; poor me.


This also fits Margo’s Tuesday Tryouts:
http://margoroby.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/tuesday-tryouts-broken/

(c) JP/davh
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7 comments:

  1. Sasha A. PalmerFebruary 20, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    This story pulled me in, it has this haunting quality. I'm glad the girl said 'no.'

    ReplyDelete
  2. HannahFebruary 20, 2013 at 10:11 AM

    I really love the repeated word switching up of its partnering in each stanza...

    I love this one:


    "I wasn’t ready
    didn’t quite trust that I was the first
    I knew I wouldn’t be the last
    perhaps he collected carved hearts?
    Or just girls hearts...poor girls."

    I remember thinking this at some point, vaguely...

    This is excellent, Jules and I love your title choice...it states so much without even having to explain.

    Thank you for sharing your poem and such a great prompt...I had fun with it...had to go with one I could remember though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dana NorberFebruary 20, 2013 at 10:42 AM

    This is wonderful Jules. A bit haunting and almost a little nostalgic. Thank you for sharing this one... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. JulesFebruary 21, 2013 at 8:18 AM

    Neil R. couldn't get here so here is his comment:
    (blogspot seems to be having issues with WP...again)


    Oh yes, that progressive transforming repeated phrase – it does work very well here. Nice play with this element of personal she-tory (yours, not his history). Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. WayneFebruary 21, 2013 at 6:47 PM

    i like this....thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2013 at 11:35 AM

    I wasn't Ready. Fantastic :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousFebruary 22, 2013 at 1:25 PM

    lovely... and a bit haunting itself, with the repetition of words and phrases throughout. & we are never quite "ready
    for the haunting", are we? - love the positive ending (wonderings, perhaps, but no real regrets?)

    ReplyDelete

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