Sunday, February 17, 2013

Sunday Whirl 96 Short: Elfje Quad Wave

http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2013/02/17/wordle-96/

under, naked, scurries, birth’s, imaginary, hiding,
door, faces, root, candlelight, lack, held


An Elfje Quad Wave:

imaginary
candlelight hiding
under the door
birth’s naked fears - lacking
substance

wanting
to root in reality...
scurries one’s courage
as neon
flashes

reflecting
blinking shades
of brilliant reds
upon closed eyelids -
vacant

expressionless
sleeping faces of children
shuffled like pawns
held in
check

(c) JP/davh
Perhaps a tad dark? Illusions to the original purpose of fairy tales...to scare children into
submission - not the animated tales of Pixar or Disney where everything ends happily. After reading it to myself I think it could also fit into the modern day current news of  ‘trafficking’ children. Egads this explanation probably has more words than the verse!
Posted by at

11 comments:

  1. Stan SkiFebruary 17, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    You say it how it is...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2013 at 3:37 PM

    I really like the opening stanza:

    imaginary
    candlelight hiding
    under the door
    birth’s naked fears - lacking
    substance

    very nice

    Randy

    ReplyDelete
  3. vivinfranceFebruary 17, 2013 at 4:36 PM

    As you say, dark. But still vivid and dramatic.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marian VeverkaFebruary 17, 2013 at 5:09 PM

    Hi - This is nice, but actually I am still searching for your story poem. Did you do one this week? Mr. Linky is becoming a bit dificult this week!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2013 at 11:30 PM

    Yes, it is a bit dark, but life is never all sunshine and the dark makes what is in the light stand out and be defined. Your use of the words makes for a very vivid and imaginative piece.

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    Yes, a bit dark, but very vivid as well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Old EggFebruary 18, 2013 at 6:04 PM

    I think they were called cautionary tales for children. Often nursery rhymes had an historical source...hardening children for the real world I suppose. Children then were plentiful, expendable and unproductive until they were about 5! Let's not get into the food they were expected to survive on.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ireneFebruary 18, 2013 at 6:39 PM

    Like that you went for the dark in fairy tales. The last stanza stands out for me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dana NorberFebruary 18, 2013 at 7:53 PM

    I enjoy the darker view, and the original telling of the fairy tails. Nice!

    ReplyDelete
  10. brenda wFebruary 18, 2013 at 9:57 PM

    I thought of trafficking, too. There was a documentary on msnbc last night. Strong write, and as Misky says, vivid. Well penned, Jules. Thanks for your tolerance of my Linky inadequacy. I swear they change things (or is that just what the voices in my head said?).

    ReplyDelete
  11. flaubertFebruary 19, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    I agree with the others, Jules, this is quite vivid. I also see the connection between human trafficking. Well done.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete

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