#5 Series B
Diamond in the Rough
Mother only knew how to be one of the housewives
Subtracting her days in repetitive chores year in and year out
All the passing months, from one fall to another autumn
Figuring out how to liven meals with fresh fruit rind when available
Let those nobles think of ‘them’ as ignorant innocents
Offering forced gallantry when ‘spurn’ was their true gift
That slight sting would only add fuel to resistance
Anger managed into little balls of thought tossed into eternity
Mother would rock from the heels to the toes of her feet
Biding her time...perhaps she would think to stiffly iron
Those hoity under-drawers to see just how
Straight those men would stand - but the thought was enough
After all how bad could life be - one true husband
A new boy to call son... Johnny-boy a gift from the one who ran away
Still quite shy and after months of reassurances that he’d found a home
More heart than Men raised without mothers, this lad was hers to mold...
JP/davh
Process notes: Can be read by itself, but it is the 5th in Series B on the page listed Series A & B.
B is towards the bottom if you’d like to read the set...no obligation though. This is just where the words took me.
Sunday Whirl 64 :http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/07/08/wordle-64/
ignorant, spurn, eternity, drawers, balls, year, rind, sting, months, housewives, subtracting, fall
Sunday, July 8, 2012
33 comments:
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We all think that we can 'mold' them, eh? A very visual tales. Nice.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad she is happy, she has a good hubby and the boy now has a home.
ReplyDeleteVery good story-telling Jules.
Love how you use 'subtracting' -- you know I always love your stories, whichever series they are :-)
ReplyDeleteI love those two middle stanzas, the thoughts expressed there, between the more, immediate, practical concerns of the first and last stanzas.
ReplyDeleteRichard
Children can only be 'molded' up to a certain point....then they take of in their own direction! Your words took you to a pretty deep place.
ReplyDeleteI think whatever 'housewife' one might be - there are challenges.
DeleteKeeping your own identity or projecting it on your children...all ways to cope.
I was thinking more though of my character as I place her in some type of 'Middle ages' realm with a clear class division.
Livening meals with rind...we do what we can for our families. The last stanza serves as a fantaastic segue into whatever comes next for Johnny-boy. It leaves the reader imagining what's next.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of zest...but then that is part of the rind. :)
DeleteLove how you have woven the wordle words into this so seamlessly. The flow you have achieved is wonderful. The bits of detail add so much to the reader's understanding and make for a high level of relativity. Keep it up Jules, you are doing great,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Wow, You had me hooked from the beginning. Nice use of the words. They all seemed to flow very well like I was reading a book.
ReplyDelete:)
Benjamin
I'm not sure if I could write a novel. But I enjoy my story verse - thanks.
DeleteWow Jules!
ReplyDelete"Anger managed into little balls of thought tossed into eternity."
I envision you being able to do this so well...always the flair toward staying unencumbered.
Hopefully the thought is not counted as 'deed' for my dear 'Mother'
ReplyDeleteWish I could do so all the time...get rid of anger that way, but I'm not a saint. :)
Nice continuation of the series, Jules. I love this line,
ReplyDelete"Anger managed into little balls of thought tossed into eternity"
Pamela
I knew I had to make it here before lunch hour ended. Enjoyed the descriptive imagery and following the series, how it all ties in. Good work, Jules.
ReplyDeleteJules, your great poem only solidifies in my mind that the words of this challenge sent many of us in the same direction. I haven't come close to reading them all, but I wonder how many will fall into the similar category of what I wrote and what others have. I'll be checking them out.
ReplyDeleteI need to read your series - and I will do my best in the coming days! Thanks for a great read here!
Jules, this is FANTASTIC! You have used the words brilliantly and with such vivid word pictures...I laughed out loud at the men in the stiff under-drawers:)and the mother ironing them. Thank-you...from one housewife to another!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely wordled. I like the line about her rocking heel to toe. I can see her.
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine her considering stiffening that under-ware, like a a much needed revenge, and then being satisfied with the thought. Great writing!
ReplyDelete"More heart than Men raised without mothers, this lad was hers to mold." "Offering forced gallantry when 'spurn' was their true gift." Love those two lines the most.
ReplyDeleteGreat poetry here!
Heehee. This made me giggle:
ReplyDelete"perhaps she would think to stiffly iron
Those hoity under-drawers to see just how
Straight those men would stand"
;)
I especially like the second quatrain, though [or perhaps because] it is enigmatic.
ReplyDeleteOff to bed now, but I'll have to come back another time and read Series B.
Cheers!
JzB
Very well written Jules. Molding sons...what a lovely thought...if only...:)
ReplyDeleteHad to laugh at the ironing of underwear. Enjoyed this, Jules!
ReplyDeleteI read this, and then read it over again, trying to find the word I wanted to describe it. I think - delicious. It's simply delicious. I love the flavor. thanks Jules. Happy Tuesday to you.
ReplyDeleteNever mess with the one wielding the starch. :)
ReplyDeletei agree with you on keeping your own identity as well as projecting it onto your kids as well...se tht in many of th kids that i counsel...def some fine story telling here...
ReplyDeleteI liked your story and laughed when she threatened to iron their underwear.
ReplyDeleteInteresting portrait of mother, Jules, and I like the final sentiment much.
ReplyDeleteWonderful use of language as always Jules ... like your work by itself or as part of the ongoing set ... lovely (meant to mention, I too liked the ironed undies ... great image)
ReplyDeletethanks so much for stopping by Leaping Elephants ... much appreciated
Thanks for your comment on my offering. I like your imagery, the clear detail in the pictures you word-paint and the wicked humor of your work.
ReplyDeleteThe woman you show us here is one to be admired, and definitely not pitied. She has a wealth of inner resources that many people only dream about--and she knows how to use them.
ReplyDeleteA Brief Whirl
Anger managed into little balls of thought tossed into eternity
ReplyDeleteWow, Jules!! This line is brilliant!! I need that right now. Seriously. Sorry it took me so long to make it over to see you! Glad I did great poem...good laugh with the stiff britches!! :)