(Story verse B 8th piece)
Staying Afloat
Who ever knows what’s in store for us as we test our very marrow as lifes’ ship
From bow to stern takes an unexpected pitch from what looks like an enchanted wave,
Porter thought looking at the unfamiliar wake as he white knuckle grasped the rail
What good would the huge anchor do when the great depths seemed unfathomable
Chan saw his friend in mild distress and for a big man, gracefully did navigate
Across the great wooden deck packed with goods and sailors alike most just
Going about their business, though some newbies like Porter were afraid
The craft would sink if bombarded by the huge beasts swimming about
Coming from a sea port town Porter had spotted humpback whales
But always in the distance - never did he dream of being in the middle of a pod
…And yet the mothers’ and their calves seemed to take only brief notice
Of the humans on board... was there a link to their merfolk friends?
Porter interpreted Chan's words to say; “They are just Mothers and children
Our Captain is respectful of these gentle beasts. I believe they bring us luck”
Looking closely at the one eye of the nearest whale - Porter sensed intelligence
And wondered if there was anyone on board who could interpret their movements
The Captain had already gotten reports from his sailor in the crows nest
There was an unexplained dark spot brewing in the waters about two miles north
And the whale pod was veering west...Time to shift course and avoid that danger
Only once before had he narrowly escaped the greedy maw of a rogue whirlpool
SW 68 http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/wordle-68/
marrow, link, store, anchor, wake, navigate, stern, deck, pitch, sink, rail, port
Process Notes: I suppose I could have come up with something not related to my story verse, but the words were meant to continue the story and the muse sees this and acts.
I also reflected some personal ‘trauma’...but symbolically hidden - which could be really how everyone writes...may we all narrowly escape the greedy maws of rogue whirlpools.
For those who would like the link to the back story ...here ye be...
They are in story order not date order.
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/p/story-verse-b.html
Sunday, August 5, 2012
19 comments:
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you're weaving the story beautifully.
ReplyDelete"Only once before had he narrowly escaped the greedy maw of a rogue whirlpool."
I love this!
Have you heard WOWH community is closing? I'm a bit sad but understand. (I didn't utilize it as much as I had initially intended). happy week to you Jules.
Oh... a whirlpool... Love the whale pod:)
ReplyDeleteA lovely story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link on who didn't sail. Fascinating reading. It never would have dawned on me that anyone (back then) would want to make themselves famous by claiming to not have sailed 'because' but it seems they wanted their 15 mins of fame even back that far eh!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the read, thanks for sharing :)
Never apologize for such a great idea. Your story continuance is anticipated weekly. Another great episode to your serial! Get 'em coming!
ReplyDeleteA rogue whirlpool is a good thing to miss! Nice work!
ReplyDeleteJules, I love this wording, especially:
ReplyDelete"as we test our very marrow"
Just wonderful.
What a wonderful last line that is!
ReplyDeleteI recall the story thread. A suspenseful whirlpool ending,Jules.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me I forgot to add the link to the whole
Deleteshe-bang. For anyone who was interested.
Love the story, Jules. Also, using Porter as a name was quite clever.
ReplyDeleteAnother good addition to your tale. I understand rogue whirlpools and really like the fact that you used the whales (they symbolize record keeping knowledge) to avoid this one.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Just a bit of an adventure...I like it.
ReplyDeleteJules this is a wonderful continuation of, as you put it, "the whole she-bang" - and I think most of the poems stand on their own and do well at continuing your story, not an easy fete, so good on you ... well done.
ReplyDeletehttp://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.it/2012/08/eye-rail.html
Lovely continuation, Jules. That is a great last line, I agree.
ReplyDeletePamela
These words were perfect for you, Jules! You use them well to continue your story. And yup, I'm loving the last line, too. I need to sit down and read the story in one sitting, and I love that you continue it for us. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteJules, your tying navigation to both ships and life, very nice. Love the respect the captain and crew have for the whales. They bring more than luck; they bring assurance that all is in balance. Thanks for this! Peace, Amy
ReplyDeleteLove how you weave this wonderful poem into your continuing story! A great job. If you don't mind, I want to point out a couple of errors: The line "From port to stern" should be "From bow to stern," as that means from the front to the back of the boat/ship. The port is where a ship can drop anchor and park, i.e. a harbor, etc. The other is in the line "The Captain in the had already gotten reports from his sailor in the crows nest." The captain in the "what?" I believe you might have left out a word by accident!
ReplyDeletePlease take no offense from these comments. None are intended. The poem is great, and an exciting and enticing story! I always appreciate it when others point out my errors or where a poem can be improved. These Wordles are always such rush jobs, and it's easy to miss things - which I often do myself!
Thanks for visiting my site and commenting so beautifully and intelligently on my work.
Thanks for the nautical re-direction. I've gotten around to the corrections. ~J
Delete