Sunday, June 3, 2012

Whirl 59 - Freed Spirit

Freed Spirit

idea burst, pierces
draw, crumble
crouch, beat brow, chisel

then glow with sweet sweat
split decisions crash
marble shards fly, fall

bruised ego sighs
stand still - rest
then edge her last curl

JulesPaige/davh June 2, 2012
Process Notes: This list, at least to me lent itself to the sculptor - I just carved the words. This is a series of Robert Kelly Lune. For more info on the short lune form please go here:
http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/the-poetic-lune/
Sunday Whirl wordle 59
http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/06/03/wordle-59/
split, bruise, crumple, draw, burst, pierce, crash, chisel, crouch, glow, edge, beat
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26 comments:

  1. MarianneJune 3, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    I loved your use of the Robert Kelly Lune. What a good idea. I will have to try it soon. And the way you used the words perfectly lent themselves to this form.

    ReplyDelete
  2. brenda wJune 3, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    I love the last line...you brought the process to life for me, Jules. This is a great write. Thank you, too, for the introduction to the form. I'm off to check it out now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. DaydreamertooJune 3, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    I often wonder how people who sculpt cope if they miss hit, crack, or shatter a piece they've spent hours working on.
    Splendid use of the words :)

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  4. margoJune 3, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    The form does suit! And, it is short :-)

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  5. Mr. WalkerJune 3, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    So powerful that beginning, so much action captured so quickly. I love "split decisions crash" - you give that phrase whole new meaning. And then such a small movement at the end edging "her last curl" - almost tender.

    Richard

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  6. flaubertJune 3, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    This form lent nicely to these words, Jules.

    Pamela

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  7. Laurie KolpJune 3, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Very creative, succinct... love it!

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  8. S.E.IngrahamJune 3, 2012 at 6:35 PM

    Nicely done Jules ... with what I consider a most difficult form, you've done an admirable job of wordling ... and I too love some of the phrasing such as "split decisions crash"

    http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/06/deep-tissue-bruising.html

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  9. Traci BJune 3, 2012 at 8:59 PM

    Excellent poem, Jules. Freeing the spirit of the artwork is what all artists strive to do.

    Thanks for introducing me to a new poetry form too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Paula WankenJune 3, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    Thanks for your visit over at the "dance" of the moon & sun.

    I'll have to check out this form -- I like how you were able to say so much with its succinctness.

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  11. teriJune 3, 2012 at 11:55 PM

    Jules - a concise write. You continue to amaze. You are a sculptor of words.

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  12. Magical Mystical TeacherJune 4, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    Rounding out the sculpture by edging the last curl--a lovely touch!

    Half a Whirl

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  13. Oak Creek RanchJune 4, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    I was not familiar with this form. Thanks for sharing about it. I love how you use the wordle words with the form; it works really well.

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  14. ElizabethJune 4, 2012 at 6:13 PM

    The creative process translates well in most mediums. This is stunning and thanks so much for the new form. Love that last bit of tweaking on the end of your poem. Wordle on,

    Elizabeth

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  15. Sara McNultyJune 4, 2012 at 11:26 PM

    Excellent use of the lune.

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  16. annell4June 5, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    Beautifully carved!

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  17. AnonymousJune 5, 2012 at 7:42 PM

    Well chiseled form, Jules! Seems few of us can avoid the sculpture allusions in our comments. A wonderful poem with distinct rhythm and flow, much like the sculptor's art.

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  18. AnonymousJune 5, 2012 at 7:47 PM

    Well-chiseled form, Jules. It seems few of us can avoid allusions to sculpture! I love the form and flow - it follows the sculptor's rhythm and flow beautifully.

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  19. Dr. Pearl Ketover Prilik (PKP)June 7, 2012 at 8:16 PM

    Wonderful I could feel the sculpture taking form and the artist 's sweat - bravo - and a kelly lune too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JulesJune 7, 2012 at 9:10 PM

      My daily observation blog this month at:
      http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/
      has Kelly and Collom lunes paired.
      They are a form of American haiku that I was not aware of until last month.
      Thanks for your kind words and visit.

      Delete
  20. MaryJune 7, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    Jules, you made the sculpting come alive! Wonderful wordling....

    ReplyDelete
  21. rosemary mintJune 8, 2012 at 1:38 AM

    I like this very much, Jules! A perfect capture of the artistic process.

    Love these:
    "idea burst"
    "glow with sweet sweat
    split decisions crash"
    "edge her last curl"

    Just gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  22. PeggyJune 8, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Well carved wordle. Thanks for visiting my blog as well.

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousJune 8, 2012 at 6:35 PM

    LOVE the Kelly Lune, and this is so well done!
    This is my favorite word bump:
    "split decisions crash
    marble shards fly, fall

    bruised ego sighs"

    ReplyDelete
  24. Mary B. MansfieldJune 8, 2012 at 7:06 PM

    So descriptive! Also off to check out the Kelly lune!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JulesJune 10, 2012 at 1:52 PM

      I'm not sure why the American haiku forms by Kelly and Collom are called lunes, but I've been pairing the two styles up for my daily observances this month at:
      http://julesgemstonepages.wordpress.com/

      Delete

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